All I want for Christmas is for the Elf on the Shelf to disappear |
Children are encouraged to write a letter to Santa, but why shouldn’t grown-ups also express their hopes and dreams? As usual at this time of year, I’m sending my wish list.
Dear Santa,
Could the Elves be a little less gendered when it comes to Christmas presents? Oh, we appreciate the work they put in, hammering and sewing away all through the year, but could they supply toys that don’t hit the child over the head with a gender stick? What, for instance, happened to Lego, which used to be the same when delivered to any child, but now comes in red and black weaponised dragons for the boys, and pink mermaid aquariums for the girls? And then there are the clothes – with pink sparkly unicorn T-shirts for the girls and camouflage designs for the boys. Elves! You can do better! These children will have plenty of gender stereotyping in their lives. Could they catch a break until they are, say, five?
Elves ready for duty – and various shelves.Credit: AP
Dear Santa,
Could the batteries be included? I don’t know if you realise, but most shops are closed on Christmas Day. Also, by noon on Christmas Day, the grandfather has already had a “tiny glass of champagne”, by which I mean “three glasses of........