You know me – soccer nutter! Well, not quite, but I have followed the ins and outs, the sins and pouts, the bins and shouts, more than somewhat and have a couple of mates who haven’t missed a minute. Here, then, on the eve of the final itself, is our own awards ceremony.

Most surprising performance. The Socceroos. We all knew, particularly after the ordinary performance against France, that this was going to be the same old, same old story: hopes crushed by an ignominious exit. But it wasn’t like that. Instead, our blokes beat Tunisia and Denmark in sterling fashion and gave Argentina a real shake, going within the length of an arm of getting a 2-2 draw at the end of regulation time.

Biggest find. That, obviously, is the 18-year-old Garang Kuol, who came to Australia as a South Sudanese refugee and played this World Cup off the Socceroos bench. He was outstanding and came within ace of scoring the goal that would have levelled the scores 2-2 with Argentina with a minute to go. What might have been!

Biggest shock. Saudi Arabia defeating Argentina was just about the most unheard of thing we’d ever heard of, but Japan beating Germany just outdid it because it meant the four-time champions had to leave the tournament in the group stage for the second consecutive World Cup.

Most compelling story. Morocco. The first African side to make the semi-finals, where they went down fighting to France. but just to get there they had already beaten European powerhouses Spain, Portugal, and Belgium, not to mention Canada.

Best fans. Of course, the Japanese. Back in the day, certain soccer fans were notorious for losing, trashing the joint, and starting riots. Not the Japanese. Win, lose or draw, they stayed behind after the match and helped clean up.

Vincent Aboubakar’s celebration got him thrown out of the match.Credit:AP

Best satellite. Look! Up in the night sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s Harry Kane’s penalty shot, which is still orbiting with the satellites.

Biggest underachievers. Brazil. All that talent, all those let-downs. With Pele, they won three World Cups in 12 years. Since his retirement, they’ve won just two in the following 52 years.