The money habits that could secretly break your relationship

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I’m no relationship expert, but I have had many clients strengthen their relationships through their work with me. Today, I’m sharing some tips that can create greater financial harmony at home.

Do you want to be “right” or “connected”? Your attachment to how “right” you are, and your need to convince the other person of your rightness (or prove their wrongness), is not just hurting your relationship – it could break it.

But you are right – that your partner is wasting money on X, or they should be investing instead of saving, or they need an investment plan instead of just randomly buying the latest investment hype of the day. You have all the evidence to prove your rightness too. If only they could see that you’re trying to help, it would improve both of your lives.

The thing is, this isn’t an effective strategy for motivating behaviour change. Healthy and lasting behaviour change isn’t inspired by being shamed for doing it wrong.

Plus, even if your partner did change because you exerted enough pressure – what is the emotional impact? Resentment? Defeatedness? None of those foster emotional safety, which is the key to creating a healthy, happy relationship.

Here’s the good news: if you choose emotional safety, it might feel like “giving up” in the short term,........

© The Sydney Morning Herald