If we allow dogs at weddings, why not a python? |
Three women in my Tuesday weights class are getting married. While we squat and thrust and fling our kettlebells around, there’s non-stop talk of veils, decorations, modes of transport to the venue and whether anyone eats wedding cake these days. Men are allowed in this weights class but, oddly, none ever shows up.
The major update from one of the brides this week was that the local register office had given permission for her dog to attend the ceremony. She duly bought ‘a little tux’ for Badger, so he could look the part.
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How do we feel about dogs at weddings? Given the declining birth rate, soaring dog population and lamentations that young people are increasingly relinquishing the idea of children in favour of the cockerpoo, it’s increasingly common to see a dog trot up the aisle. He may even have a little pouch attached to his collar, not for poo bags or biscuits, but for the rings. Why rely on the hopeless, hungover best man to remember the rings when you could simply make your dog the ring-bearer instead?
I’d be nervous about including Dennis. The list of contraband that he’s swallowed includes but is not limited to: tissues off the pavement, discarded chicken bones, plastic bottle tops, a........