Let’s dispense with the obvious question first. Are they common? While there’s a clear temptation to consult Nicky Haslam on such matters, I don’t think I can be bothered. Not least because first, I am a Prusso-Italian immigrant, second, I was born in Essex and third, I adore fridge magnets.

We should be honest and admit that, like everything in life, they are signifiers. The aim is to show our friends how cultured, travelled, well-read, ironic and amusing we are. They are our lives writ in ceramic.

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Where to begin? One of my favourite magnets, designed to strike fear and dread into any intruder, dates back to Iraq circa 2004: ‘Caution........

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