My late mother was a kind woman – who I treated badly in adolescence, as teenage girls are often inclined to do – so the few times she said nasty things to me stick in my mind. In fact, I can only think of one: when I was 11, she told me that I had ‘no personality’.

I remember sitting in my bedroom, staring at a poster of David Bowie, my eyes practically crossed in crossness. What did she mean, ‘no personality’? I was a right weirdo, already well under way with the process of changing myself from a wholesome working-class Bristolian schoolgirl into a total freak, thanks to growing immersion in the works of the Velvet Underground and Oscar Wilde. It puzzled me until I heard the old rock ’n’ roll song ‘Personality’ a few years later, sung by Lloyd Price on the soundtrack to the brilliant David Essex film That’ll Be the Day:

’Cause you got personality
Walk, with personality
Talk, with personality
Smile, with personality
Charm, with personality
Love, with personality
And plus you’ve got a great big heart!

Suddenly I got it; having ‘personality’, to my poor simple mother, meant being bubbly. I sniggered in what I hoped was a sinister manner and cracked open my copy of Against Nature – not gonna happen! Sure enough, a quick ‘AI Overview’ tells us that ‘“Miss Personality” refers to a title, often in pageants, awarded to someone showcasing exceptional inner qualities like friendliness, confidence and kindness, rather than just looks, recognising their positive attitude, charisma and ability to connect, making them approachable and inspiring, focusing on qualities like being supportive, sociable, empathetic and having strong communication skills.’ Later, I was to learn that before this, ‘personality’ could also be........

© The Spectator