To walk out of a public performance before the end – be it the theatre, a concert or a lecture – is not the done thing. It’s considered an antisocial act that disrupts the performance and thus other people’s pleasure. To walk out provokes tuts of disapproval and scowls of indignation. And yet while it’s something we all disapprove of (at least in theory) it’s also something we all secretly long to do.

Who hasn’t sat and squirmed in their seat at some tedious piece of theatre and wondered: how much more of this must I suffer? And who hasn’t been subjected to one of those long, sycophantic interviews with some self-adoring author flogging their latest book and not prayed for the courage to make a run for it?

It seems you can walk out on a marriage, but not your child’s school play. But why not?

The other night I was at a public talk where a man with a background in British cinema was discussing his life and career. (I’d only gone because my friend was interviewing him.) Within 20 minutes I was bored and so was the man next to me. We exchanged a roll of the eyes and checked our watches. And then I said in a whisper: ‘I’m making a run for it. Are you with me?’

I should point out that it was a........

© The Spectator