Every year, the most anticipated advert of the Christmas season comes courtesy of John Lewis, the favoured retailer of the nation’s middle classes. And, every year, there is keen discussion as to whether the store has pulled it off. The formula has now been in place for two decades, including a cover of a well-known song by a modish artist (this year, Sam Fender and the Stones’ ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want’), a central idea that might or might not tug heartstrings and, of course, a less-than-subtle plug for the company that is actually paying for the advertisement.

There have been poor John Lewis commercials in the past, but I am struggling to remember one that so cynically wallowed in tweeslop and naked commercialism. It is even more depressing because the store has hired none other than the great Kristin Scott Thomas, presumably for a Santa’s sackload of cash, to star in this lamentable effort. Scott Thomas plays a grandmother named Gloria, whose grandchildren show no interest in her fuddy-duddy board games and old-fashioned wooden toys. She is about to give up and hand over generous sums of cash for........

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