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Dr. Randy Cale’s Terrific Parenting: Why you’re still stuck: The paradox of effort in healing

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15.02.2026

Let’s be honest — kindly honest, not beat-yourself-up honest.

If you’ve struggled for years, you’ve probably tried just about everything. The self-help books are stacked like a motivational Jenga tower. You’ve done therapy. You’ve journaled. Meditated. Affirmed. Exercised. Perhaps even whispered sweet nothings to your inner child while sipping green juice and pretending to like kale.

And yet… here you are.

The anxiety still hums in the background. Old anger pops up like an uninvited relative at Thanksgiving. Depression waits for you in the morning like a heavy winter coat you never asked to wear. Sleep gets derailed by stress — or by that “one innocent glass of wine” that somehow multiplied overnight.

You aren’t lazy. You aren’t broken. You’re exhausted because you’ve been fighting a war that effort alone can’t win. You’ve been taught that healing is something you do — that if you just try harder, think better thoughts, or analyze your past deeply enough, you’ll finally arrive at peace.

But what if the effort........

© The Saratogian