The uncertain geometry of relationships |
Any relationships of a close bond—say between parents and children; among siblings; between married couples; childhood friends who have grown up together, and more—have predictable patterns of intimacy, aloofness, and so on. There are patches of time where the intimacy is so strong that thought processes almost run parallel and overlap. It leads to intimacies and togetherness—a kind of bonding which gives meaning not only to life but also to the understanding of relationships. While it lasts, it is like a roller-coaster ride, and it almost appears timeless.
But then, as time passes, experiences vary, and people no longer trust each other the way they did not so long ago. There are many reasons why this could happen, and one of the commonest is the entry of another figure who responds more closely to a person’s felt needs or aspirations. The entry of a third figure affects many direct relationships and sometimes may even be as close as sibling relationships or conjugal relationships. Hence, an important takeaway is the ability of relationships to jointly handle a third person’s involvement with caution, care, and foresight.
This is difficult because emotions are involved, and one’s needs change. A husband–wife relationship can typically be affected, one way or another, by the birth of a child or even life experiences from the family........