They’re clamping down on the car tax in Ballymena, hi

I had to go to Ballymena last week to pick up some tiles (Fionnuala wanted to improve the splashback situation at the hob) and decided to treat myself to a mini-breakfast in the town. But when I returned to the car, I was stopped dead in my tracks: it was clamped.

I had paid for my parking so the shock was palpable, but when I saw a large yellow UNTAXED VEHICLE sticker on the window, I racked my brains – how could this have happened? I checked online and realised I had forgotten to tax the car after it’s recent MOT – and the galling thing is that it’s even free to tax, due to a quirk with its omissions.

I rang the number on the notice and a Geordie fella answered, but he was struggling with my accent so he transferred me to a second guy.

“Stop talking, man. What is your accent, man?”

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