As I stared up at the driver of the tractor, with an enormous boat somehow strapped on top, I thought why in God’s good earth was he driving on such a tiny road?

Not only was there barely enough room for one vehicle, there was a drop on the left, with rocks and the sea below, and hedges on the right and no lay-by anywhere to be seen. 

The nearest entrance to a house was about a kilometre back, so that was no use. And to make matters worse, a car pulled up behind me and then one behind the tractor. 

I tried to indicate to the tractor man that I was unable to move back but he sat impassively, his face a world-weary slab of granite disappointment.

Noel Doran: The Jeffrey Donaldson I saw in south Down

Fabien McQuillan: The Portaferry tractor man and the day-trip of doom

I found that a bit galling actually. I mean, I was on a day-trip with the children and this is the sort of activity that you get up to on a day-trip. I thought ruefully again about how I didn’t like day-trips. 

He was clearly a........

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