The ruinous reign of Vladimir the Terrible

Heaven help us all if Russian Patriarch Kirill has his way. Just after Vladimir Putin’s inauguration on May 7 as self-elected president, the godly church head expressed the wish that Putin’s rule extend until the “end of the vek”; in this context, “vek” can mean either century or time.

In the best-case scenario, the 148-year old Putin would step down in 2100. In the worst case, he’d be around forever, even outdoing Adolf Hitler’s plans of a thousand-year Reich.

Putin has served as president or prime minister since 1999. That’s 25 years, which brings him just one year short of Joseph Stalin, who ruled from 1927 to 1953. Catherine II (aka the Great) beat both, reigning from 1762 to 1796, a total of 34 years. Peter I (aka the Great) outdid them all, ruling from 1682 to 1725, a whopping 43 years.

Unless Putin kicks (or is made to kick) the bucket this year, he’s sure to beat Uncle Joe. If he finishes this term and the next, he could make it to 2036, thereby beating Catherine. Alas, Peter, who was a giant of a man, will remain out of the diminutive Putin’s reach, both temporally and physically.

In contrast to Joe, Catherine and Peter, who succeeded in “making Russia great again” — while killing millions of non-Russians and Russians in the process — poor Vlad will go down in history as the man who, like a string........

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