What they always say about cats – indeed, one of the reasons I prefer dogs – is that they don’t like moving house. You have to trap them inside for the first week after you relocate or they’ll make your life a misery, going back to the old house, getting into mischief on the way. I’ve always thought less of them for their inflexibility, their prima donna nose-twitching, their refusal to go with the flow. Always, that is, until someone remodelled my local Lidl.

It is hell: they haven’t........

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