Where are the brave inciters of Britain’s race riots? From Tommy to Elon, they’re far, far away

“My kids are crying. We come here so I could spend some quality time with them. Now they are scared people are coming here to get them.” Thus bleated Tommy Robinson from the five-star Ayia Napa all-inclusive hotel from which he is currently influencing sustained violent disorder on Britain’s streets.

And yet, multiple paparazzi photos from the resort show Daddy either floating like a lonesome turd in the pool, or splayed out on a four-poster sunlounger glued to his phone, with not even a pixelated Sproginson to be seen. Perhaps they were fomenting looting in the kids’ club? If not, Pops has certainly broken with the form book by not coopting them into his war games. Robinson’s previous stunts have included filming his disturbingly tearful children on the day he emerged from one of his prison sentences (it was the attempting-to-collapse-a-rape-trial one, I think, as opposed to the massive-mortgage-fraud one).

The EDL founder immediately packaged and publicised what should surely have been a private family moment as a donation-driving propaganda video. Kerching! Robinson’s current means of funding five-star holidays remain opaque – although I think most of us have zeroed in on one particular theory – but they clearly far outstrip the days when he was merely a Luton tanning salonista.

As does his virtual social set. Elon Musk, Tommy Robinson, Nigel Farage, Laurence Fox: you don’t have to have taken a divorce well to be currently leading from........

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