Show some gratitude, people – Nadhim Zahawi has joined Reform for our benefit, apparently |
Sorry to call it early, but the worst trend of 2026 is politicians who are graciously doing us all a favour. “He doesn’t need to be here,” declared Nigel Farage on Monday of Reform UK’s newest sloppy second, Nadhim Zahawi. “He could have gone abroad.” Ooh, aren’t we lucky! Thanks for stopping by, Nadhim!
If you missed this, the former mayfly Conservative chancellor Nadhim Zahawi has switched gravy trains. If that sounds like the sort of death-defying stunt Tom Cruise might break his ankle doing in the Mission: Impossible franchise, it’s nothing like as exhilaratingly watchable. The Tory gravy train has ground to a halt, and Farage will stop his Reform train even between stations to pick up any old has-been you may remember from episodes such as “deathbed Boris Johnson appointments” or “my horses are warmer than pensioners”. (More on that one shortly.) Needless to say, Farage is doing his best to explain that these guys aren’t secondhand, they’re pre-loved. They’re vintage, they’re appealingly worn in, they’re heritage pieces. They may even have increased in value – they’re basically political Birkin bags.
But, as I say, you’re lucky you’re even being allowed to look at them. Don’t dream of touching what you can’t afford. Farage’s party is increasingly full of people who’d like you to know they’ve got way better options than power and don’t actually need to do this.
Nigel’s one himself, of course, having declared “I want my life back” in 2016, before repeatedly presenting his frequent un-retirings as some kind of regrettable sacrifice he could well afford not to make. He doesn’t need to do this, guys! Or take Richard Tice, the Reform deputy leader given to making grandly self-dramatising statements like: “My job pays for everything. The politics........