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Gwyneth Paltrow is right - living apart from my partner is like having my cake and eating it

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Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin parted ways in 2014, but there has been no rush by the rose quartz vagina egg-flogging star to move another man into her Hollywood home full time. Despite marrying TV producer Brad Falchuk last September, Gwyneth says he lives there sporadically. He comes and he goes, as it were.

They’re both incredibly content, she insists, mentioning their respective teenage children’s feelings as a reason to stay independent. But it’s Gwyneth’s aside on the importance of “maintaining polarity” in a relationship that I find much more delicious. Well, I would, because I think it’s true, having merrily waved off my other half four days ago, back to his own property to maintain his own polar existence. Or, more accurately, his North Polar existence, because his idea of cosy living involves windows ajar, radiators off and icicles forming on nostrils.

It’s been this way for a couple of years. I don’t want to change it. On days apart, we speak constantly via WhatsApp. If I need him, he’ll appear – say, if a big spider is loose in the house, or if very bad news has happened. He is cherished entirely, but I can cherish him 13 miles away. On our days apart, I emotionally recalibrate. (Sorry, went a bit Gwynnie there.) I leave self-tan silhouettes on the bed sheets and a trail of forgotten cups of Earl Grey in every room. I eat oatcakes,........

© The Guardian