The UK and US are boorish in their own ways. But I often wish I were British

The so-called “special relationship” between Britain and the United States has never seemed more tenuous. At times, it looks like the US-UK alliance is a geopolitical version of a slowly disintegrating celebrity relationship where neither side wants to admit it’s actually over, so someone has to do a crazy thing like cheating in the most high-profile manner possible to wrap things up. Like Klay Thompson (allegedly) stepping out on Megan Thee Stallion, America has been making goo-goo eyes at Israel for the last year, and King Charles is starting to get jealous.

So the king popped into the White House for a tour of all the changes Donald and Melania have foisted upon the grounds. Have you seen the gaping hole where the East Wing used to be? And what a hole it is. To your left, you’ll see the beehive.

Yes, the White House now has a beehive shaped like a mini-White House. What’s better than a center for ants? How about a presidential palace for bees? Donald Trump’s penchant for building truly knows no bounds. In the US president’s remarks at the start of the official visit, he said of our familial relations with the UK: “Long before Americans had a nation or a constitution, we first had a culture, a character and a creed.” Yeah, maybe 300 years ago. What exactly do we have in common now besides the bones of a language (please don’t ask an American what a “loo” is)?

I have my own “special relationship” with the UK. I try to visit at least once a year, for work or pleasure. It’s a lovely country with a historic culture, stunning architecture, and a prodigious artistic heritage. It also........

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