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I know (I think) the next big twist in Game of Thrones but the spoiler has not ruined it

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28.04.2019

Spoilers for Harry Potter book five but nothing in Game of Thrones season 8. If you want to yell at me about spoilers on Twitter, slide into my DMs – let’s not accidentally spoil a bystander.

I will never forget the day Jack Nicholson spoiled Harry Potter. It was 2003 and we were loitering around a cluster of demountable classrooms waiting for our Italian teacher to show up. I was never sure if Jack was deliberately named or his parents were stubbornly sticking to a family name, Oscar winners be damned, but I did know that from this day on, I hated him.

It was the last week of June and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix had just come out. I was picking up my copy on the weekend but one of my classmates had already read it and therefore knew who died at the end. That someone would die had already been telegraphed in the press.

Jack demanded to know, and I covered my ears. Once my ears were uncovered, he turned to me and grinned. “Is there someone called Sirius Black?”

It’s been 16 years. I’m still not over it.

Given the devastation of that early experience, it may seem odd that I actively seek out spoilers for the last of the great watercooler television dramas Game of Thrones.

My stance on non-consensual spoiling is unchanged, which is that it’s mean and you shouldn’t do it. To those who turn up to work on Tuesday and bring the office Game of Thrones conversation to a grinding halt because they have the gall to have an active social life and haven’t yet watched, I say: you are annoying but valid.

But if you’re willing to be........

© The Guardian