Don’t mention the war! Or the economy, for that matter. Or the Epstein files. Or Natalie Harp. Or “affordability”, which, as Donald Trump recently said at a rally, is a word that was “never used” by the media before he took office. Best not to talk about anything that affects ordinary people or embarrasses the president, really. Instead, let’s all rejoice in Trump’s latest triumph: renaming Lake Ontario, which is shared by Canada and the US, as Lake America.

On Thursday, Trump signed an executive order directing federal agencies to America-fy the lake’s name on US maps and documents, which is an excellent use of time and resources. I suppose we can at least be thankful that the president, who is trying to slap his own name on everything from airports to the Kennedy Center, didn’t decree that the body of water be called Lake Trump.

This is not an isolated embarrassment: the Lake Ontario name change follows the president’s rebranding of the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America last year. “We have a gulf and we have a lake – now all we need is an ocean. Maybe we’ll have to change the name of the Atlantic and/or the Pacific,” Trump told reporters.

Give it a few more months of the disastrous war in Iran and a bruised Trump may well make good on that threat: the man will do anything to distract from his failings.

As well as being a distraction, this pathetic maneuver is supposed to be a middle finger to Canada. Trade negotiations between the US and Canada recently collapsed, with the Trump administration imposing a 50% tariff on some goods and the Canadian prime minister, Mark Carney, promising a “dollar for dollar” response. One suspects that Trump thinks Lake Ontario is named after the Canadian province it borders. Ergo he reckons a unilateral name change is a good way of showing the US’s northern neighbour who is boss.

However, as Carney was forced to point out on social media, the name Lake Ontario has been used for more than 400 years and comes from the........

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