I want to change my face. I’m not talking cosmetic surgery, although if chubby cheeks could be surgically de-chubbed I’d have to consider it. Surgery can’t help me – if only it were that simple. What I seek to change is the expression on my face, my whole disposition, the face I present to the world. Mine’s all wrong, insomuch as I look as if there’s something wrong. Very often I’ll be asked what the matter is.

“Yes, why do you ask?”

“Well, you just look miserable.”

Point taken. Very often, when I tell a friend that all is good with me, they ask if I’ve thought about telling that to my face.

Well, now I am – I am telling my face to cheer up. I don’t know how or when it got stuck this way. It’s been at least 13 years. I know this because back then something was written in the Daily Mirror which second-mentioned me as “the gloomy........

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