Here we come a-wassailing: The Globe’s annual collection of updated Christmas carols |
The Globe and Mail
Warren Clements is a former member of The Globe and Mail’s editorial board and currently runs a small publishing outfit called Nestlings Press.
Mark, the herald angels sing,
Seems forever on the wing.
Abu Dhabi, Paris, Rome –
Jetting off away from home.
Carney seeks to drum up trade,
Shaking hands, some progress made,
But one question, if we may:
Will his many travels pay?
All the air miles he must get –
Surely they’ll retire the debt.
On the twelfth day of clickbait,
My inbox held for me:
Twelve tips from surgeons,
Heavenly excursions,
Ten pills for popping,
Nine sins for stopping,
Eight pounds for trimming,
Seven ways of slimming,
Six clips for streaming,
Five gold-like rings.
Four calls for cash,
Three fresh scams,
Two phishing schemes
And a smart deal on an EV.
Go hoist ye, merry gentlemen,
Let nothing you deter.
The ladder’s booked on rental, then
The heist is de rigueur.
The Louvre lost its treasures when
The walls were insecure.
Oh-h, time saw the suspects all tracked down.
Jewels not found.
Bet the Mona Lisa wears a grumpy frown.
A Jay, a cliffhanger,
No room in the pubs.
The Jays and the Dodgers,
Formidable clubs.
A series decided –
One overtime run.
So yes, there was heartbreak,
But fans still had fun.
False T the Showman
Is a tariff-ying soul.
He remains afraid of the world’s free trade
For it strips him of control.
Frosty........