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No, Joe Rogan, Jesus Was Not A Psychedelic Mushroom

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Conspiracy theories are a bit like Greek gods and goddesses. No matter who you are, there’s one tailor-made to appeal to all your vices.

In the same way that Hera, the goddess of family and childbirth, appealed to overly nervous, distrusting helicopter moms in Ancient Greece, “vaccines cause autism” appeals to overly nervous, distrusting helicopter moms today. In both cases, women who don’t want to admit their foibles are drawn to belief systems that sanctify their faults.

Likewise, in the same way that Dionysus appealed to ancient Greek inebriates who wanted to justify their love of drunkenness, thanks to podcaster Joe Rogan, today’s drug enthusiasts have a new conspiracy theory that will confirm all their preexisting biases concerning hallucinogenic drugs — a conspiracy that could best be summed up as, “Actually, Jesus was a psychedelic mushroom.”

In a recent episode of his podcast, while interviewing author Michael Malice, Rogan mentioned “The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross,” a controversial 1970 book by English archeologist John Marco Allegro. Rogan summarizes the book in this clip, which I should note is chock-full of both profane and blasphemous language:

Likewise, this is a subject he also broached a few years ago in another interview:

If you’d prefer a sanitized breakdown of Rogan’s claims, and if you’d like a few more details and corrections to help flesh out the conspiracy theory, allow me to provide that for you.

1. John Marco Allegro was a Dead Sea Scrolls scholar (never ordained, though, as Rogan claims) who blazed his own path by embracing agnosticism and seeking to find a naturalistic explanation for the origins of Christianity.

2. Allegro discovered that Christianity had its origins “in an orgiastic fertility cult that made use of a hallucinogenic mushroom containing the drug psilocybin. Moreover, Jesus never actually existed, but was invented by early Christians under the influence of those drugs” who used his story to pass down coded messages from Sumerian times, encouraging those with the secret knowledge to continue pursuing divine communion through psychedelic mushrooms. However, a bunch of idiots then took these New Testament stories literally, concluded that Jesus was an historical person, and — voila! — Christianity was born.

3. The name “Jesus” has its roots in a Sumerian word that means “semen, which saves” — not “god’s semen,” which Rogan claims.

4. Allegro’s findings were so dangerous to Christianity that the Catholic Church hindered the........

© The Federalist