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The CDC Wishes You A Lonely Holiday Season. Make This Your Most Joyous Yet

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In a nation fatigued by social distancing and dying to escape loneliness, the inimitable Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued recommendations for how to have a “safe” holiday season. Spoiler: A CDC-compliant season will not be “the most wonderful time of the year.”

Our national public health experts have steered us confidently through some murky waters. After all, how else would we know that public mask use, which the CDC used to discourage, is “more guaranteed to protect me against COVID than when I take a COVID vaccine”? So when they release neat bullet points categorizing group activities based on COVID-19 risk and encourage “virtual-only activities,” they convey that avoiding the Wuhan virus is the only thing that matters in the whole wide world.

According to the CDC, virtually every traditional activity you used to do over the holidays with people outside your household is “high risk,” despite the CDC’s own “best estimate” that COVID-19 has a 99.98 percent survival rate for anyone under the age of 50 and a 99.5 percent survival rate for anyone under 70. From the CDC’s point of view, the more you seek to connect with others and include those who are supposed to be isolated, to share some common traditions and a bit of fun in the shadow of the most contentious presidential election of our lifetimes, the more reckless you are being.

Let’s start with Halloween. Trick-or-treating is labeled “high risk,” despite it being a series of brief outdoor interactions between neighbors and children, who rarely spread COVID-19 and almost never get seriously ill from it. Apparently, the CDC thinks you’re summoning the restless spirit of coronavirus if you hold a bowl of candy out for children instead of leaving goodie bags on your doorstep.

Pumpkin patch and apple orchard visits should also be masked and socially distanced to be considered only “moderate risk,” along with any other outdoor activities, such as hayrides or community movie viewings where people aren’t spaced more than six feet apart. Despite this classification, cases of outdoor transmission appear to be very........

© The Federalist

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