Helpful Ways To Talk To Your Infertile Friends About Their Suffering |
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Helpful Ways To Talk To Your Infertile Friends About Their Suffering
Supporting someone with infertility is simple but not easy.
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After almost four years of unsuccessfully trying to conceive, I’ve heard a lot of comments from those trying to help. While some days I feel like I could use all the advice in the world to get pregnant, other days, advice just grates on me terribly.
I’ve heard it all — from just stay put after intimacy, to get rid of the Wi-Fi, to buy Amazon ovulation pills, to exhortations that I should sue Pfizer because it’s probably the Covid shot that made me infertile, to books about eating only organic, to telling me I just need to have a glass of wine at night, to blaming shampoo.
I have learned to receive even the most bizarre comments as love; everyone means well. But I also think we should seek to grow in our ability to simply sit with someone in grief without trying to fix everything. This Infertility Awareness Week, I’ve been thinking about some of the hardest things I’ve heard from well-meaning people. They include the following.
“Have a little patience,” when asking for prayer from church leaders. So is my infertility a lack of patience? How can you promise a child will result from waiting? How do you know I’ve been impatient in my heart?
“Imagine yourself pregnant,” from my family members. I understand the power in visualizing possibilities. This might be helpful for some women, but for me, the comment seemed to have crossed the line from positive thinking to new-age........