Rote learned, manners have served me well

Something remarkable happens on Sydney buses. At every stop, disembarking passengers thank the driver. In a world in which good manners have become scarce, it's a heartening sight, a gesture that costs nothing but holds great value.

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And it's infectious. As one passenger says thank you, the next feels obliged to do the same. The act is now ingrained, a sign of respect for the driver, who has to smoothly navigate busy narrow streets often designed for horse and cart, not 20-tonne behemoths.

The big city, which often gets a bad press for rudeness, demonstrates other courtesies which have fallen by the wayside elsewhere.

In traffic, motorists have learned to let vehicles ahead of them merge, understanding it's not only polite but helps maintain flow. A wave of gratitude often follows.

It's not my imagination. In February, Sally Pryor wrote this in a Canberra Times story bemoaning ACT drivers: "Anyone who's ever braved the roads in Sydney will understand what I'm talking about; the volume of traffic there is, next to Canberra, unfathomable, and unspeakably scary, until you realise quite quickly that there are systems and protocols in place that keep things running as smoothly as possible."

On escalators, people who choose to ride standing still move to the left, allowing those in a hurry to get past. A small act of consideration that doesn't cost a thing.

On footpaths, people from out of town are easily spotted - they're the ones walking three or four abreast, oblivious to others caught behind them.

At doors, more often than not, the person ahead holds it open for the person behind, an act that elicits a smile and a thank you. Likewise, hitting the open button as another person rushes for the lift door.

Good manners are a social lubricant, easing the friction of not just crowded situations but any human interaction. Too often, though, they're dismissed as old-fashioned and fuddy-duddy, a redundant code observed by oldies like myself who wouldn't know an appropriate emoji if they tripped over it.

So, I was delighted to read of the efforts of Frankie Johnston, a Sydney schoolgirl determined to impress on her own generation the importance of good manners. She's launched an initiative called Manners Matter, which aims to make manners cool again.

While I see good manners at work when I'm in the city (often much more so than when I'm at home in regional NSW), Frankie sees bad manners. Teens not standing for elderly passengers on public transport, kids forgetting to say please or thank you, a general rudeness among her peers.

She says technology plays a role, with online interactions shorter, sharper and harsher than what's required for face to face dealings with other people.

Growing up in the analogue world of the 1960s and 1970s, manners were like the times tables - rote learned through constant repetition. Elbows off the table. Mouth closed when chewing. Please. Thank you. Excuse me. After you. And like the times tables, they've served me well my entire life.

So, all power to you Frankie, in your quest to make manners matter once again.

HAVE YOUR SAY: How important are good manners? Were the Ps and Qs drummed into you as a child? Have you passed on the manners you learned to your children? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au

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