RON HART: Tiger Woods — Law and Order SUV

alisades, California. (Photo by Mike Mulholland/Getty Images)

On the same day J.D. Vance was tasked with exposing fraud in government programs, Tiger Woods wrecked his car again. If J.D. wants to focus on frauds, he should follow this order: LA Hospice, Somali Learing Centers, and Tiger Woods Driving Schools. 

Of course, the media coverage of Tiger’s accident was immediate and breathless. Helicopters hovered. Experts emerged from wherever “expert storage” is located. Former golfers, current golfers, people who once mini-golfed — they all weighed in.

I like Tiger and I feel sorry for him. He has been through this a lot. He has been in and out of Betty Ford so often that there is a sandwich named for him in the cafeteria there. But nothing seems to help — except for Tiger maybe calling an Uber. (RELATED: Tiger Woods Announces He’s Stepping Away To ‘Seek Treatment’ After DUI Arrest)

Tiger was on top of the world fifteen years ago. Then his wife caught him cheating and chased him out of the driveway with an 8-iron (she felt a 7-iron was too much club). Tiger crashed into a tree at the end of his driveway and ten more bimbos fell out.

She just wanted Tiger to get his philandering under control and abide by the rules of golf, including the 14 club hostess limit. There was an ensuing uneasy peace.

With his marriage, sponsorships and public image at stake, Tiger Woods reportedly checked himself into sex rehab in Mississippi in 2010. Actually, he checked into three of them, but they didn’t know about each other. Elin, his Swedish model wife, drew up divorce papers, citing irreconcilable waitresses.

His sponsors like AT&T left him; sponsors dropped him like AT&T drops cell calls. In fact, though AT&T was one of his biggest backers, they canceled him. To this day, it stands as the most expensive roaming charge ever.  

Say what you will about capitalism, it punishes bad behavior quickly. One great lesson learned is the value of capitalism and its ability to enforce good behavior. Accenture and Gillette all cut ties with Tiger over that. The supposedly “immoral” free markets are speaking louder and with more reprisal than anyone.

When the heat cooled, he went and got his sex rehab treatment reversed and went back to being Tiger. 

He will get past all of this recent stuff again. Again. Maybe he doesn’t drive well, so he might just park his car in dramatic fashion. No one has been better over the years at getting his balls out of hazards than Tiger. He has always been a good iron player; he just needs to learn to control his wood.

Number One PGA golfer Scottie Scheffler said that Tiger was his hero growing up. He got some side eye from his wife when he said it, but Tiger means a lot to many of us. I was on a golf trip once and saw an option on my hotel TV for “Tiger Woods, His 18 Favorite Holes.” I was a little disappointed to find the damn thing was about golf. (RELATED: Police Say Tiger Woods Had Pills In Pocket After Car Crash)

He was golf’s biggest star and he still is. The PGA Tour has grown with his brand. Tiger has been good for golf. He was the longest driver on tour, allowing him to hit wedges into most holes.  A buddy of mine says, “If I wanted to see a 5-iron, I’d ask Taylor Swift to press my shirt.”

It is not his place to be anyone’s role model, and he does so at his own peril. He is a reminder that no amount of mastery in one domain makes you immune to the foibles of another. I am not sure who purports to be a role model these days, and I am suspicious of anyone who does. 

Tiger valued privacy in this TMZ world, so he did not like drivers. He got off course. And that is the problem with big celebs. No one is there to tell them that what they are doing is wrong for fear of being cut out of the entourage. It happened to Elvis, Michael Jackson etc. They could afford legit Rx; fentanyl kills middle class kids hooked on opioids, because they resort to street pills.

In the end, Tiger’s car wreck is one of those moments where reality gently reminds us not to take anything too seriously — not even excellence. 

I hope he plays in the Masters. The members at Augusta National Golf Club have been nothing but supportive of Tiger over the years; when he won the Masters for the first time in 1997, they even installed his own drinking fountain.

A libertarian op-ed humorist and award-winning author, Ron does radio and TV commentary. He can be contacted at Ron@RonaldHart.com or @RonaldHart on X.

The views and opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author and do not reflect the official position of the Daily Caller.

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