2025 MAGAVerse Awards: Hits, Misses, Crimes and Meltdowns |
If 2025 felt like it was written by AI trained on scrapped House of Cards scripts and Truth Social rants, you’re not far off. This past year has largely felt like watching democracy speedrun its own demise while proclaiming that THINGS HAD NEVER BEEN BETTER!
After all, we’re Americans, baby. We measure our years in scandals per capita and how many times we said “that can’t be real” before checking and discovering it is—and is also, in fact, worse. The worst.
Wait, did someone say the worst of the worst? Here they are: the 2025 MAGAverse Awards, celebrating a political ecosystem that operates on the same principles as a pyramid scheme having a panic attack. The trophies are faux gold, and they all go to Trump. No acceptance speeches allowed because everyone’s already talked too much, and frankly, most of them should be under oath at this point.
MTG spent the latter part of 2025 in a state that can only really be described as ideological jazz hands. One minute, she’s pushing to keep ACA subsidies, the next, she’s fighting with Trump and demanding the Epstein files. Then boom: her retirement announcement. Either she’s growing as a person—and not just in the CrossFit sense—or she hired the world’s most confused PR team.
Cast your minds back to February, when an Oval Office meeting with President Zelensky played out televised like a pay-per-view cage match. (Perhaps inspiration for next year’s UFC showdown in the White House?)
Vance rarely misses a moment to be petty and........