Who the hell gave Garfield a smartphone? Granted, the world has changed significantly in the 46 years since Jim Davis’ comic strip about the adorably misanthropic orange tabby cat was first published. But Garfield’s tastes have remained constant. The portly fella hates Mondays with almost the same intensity as he loves lasagna—and don’t even get him started on Odie, the yapping canine he deigns to share Jon Arbuckle’s suburban palace with. These are characteristics that anyone with even a vague familiarity with Garfield knows, but they’re defining traits that The Garfield Movie (in theaters May 24) is barely concerned with.
Instead, Garfield’s first cinematic outing since 2006’s Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties—remarkably, this is the cat’s first entirely animated feature film—molds Garfield into the any-cat. With a phone in his paws, Garfield has access to everything he loves at the tap of a claw, and the ability to avoid most things he detests. While this could be a clever way to update Garfield’s antics for the modern day—inserting new obstacles in the long road back to bed—his newfound love of tech lazily strips Garfield of his most integral quality: cynicism. The Garfield Movie fundamentally misunderstands the charm of Garfield. A phone wouldn’t solve all of this cat’s problems; it would exacerbate them. Cynicism is the flavor of the moment, something that everyone is deeply entrenched in thanks to our constant proximity to screens. Yet, for Garfield—the most pessimistic feline in the world—the smartphone somehow makes everything better.
It’s no surprise, then, that the film’s storyline is as conventional and vacant of character as its vision of Garfield is. In this new adventure, Garfield (voiced by Chris Pratt, who doubles down on criticisms of his Super Mario Bros. Movie accent with some of the most robotic voice work in recent........