Since the legalization of same-sex marriage in Canada in 2005, and through provincial changes to adoption and parentage laws, gay men have gained formal recognition as parents. But my recent research suggests that access to fatherhood for this cohort remains deeply unequal in practice.

In 2021, six per cent of male same-gender couples in Canada were raising children, compared with 24 per cent of female same-gender couples. While we have no data comparing their desire to parent, the gap points to a deeper reality.

Drawing on interviews with 23 Canadian prospective gay fathers, I found that restrictive pathways to parenthood shape which gay men can become parents. Equal rights, it turns out, have not translated into equal access.

For gay men, becoming parents is a complex, expensive and uncertain project.

Why gay fatherhood is harder to access

Gay men typically build families through highly bureaucratized processes, including traditional and gestational surrogacy, donors, foster care and public and private adoption.

Each comes with its own legal, financial and emotional demands. As a consequence, pursuing parenthood typically requires gay men to spend years planning, researching and co-ordinating across multiple institutions — from fertility clinics and lawyers to social workers and government agencies — and sometimes even across countries and jurisdictions.

Many prospective gay fathers become “project managers” of their own journey to parenthood. They must compare pathways, calculate costs and assess........

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