When you think about domestic violence, you probably imagine a tall, powerful man overpowering his female partner. This is the image that is usually shown in media, films and true crime documentaries. But it is not just men who commit violence and abuse in romantic relationships.
The documentary My Wife, My Abuser, which first premiered on Channel 5, recently shot to the top slot on Netflix. The film depicts the horrifying abuse Richard Spencer experienced from his wife over 20 years, while their three children looked on. Stories portraying women as perpetrators of domestic abuse are rarely highlighted in news coverage, making them particularly intriguing when they do appear.
I have been researching domestic violence perpetration for almost ten years. I’ve found that female abusers are just as capable as male abusers of hurting and humiliating their partners.
To be clear, I’m not talking about prevalence – worldwide, domestic violence is a problem that disproportionately affects women. But framing domestic violence as a problem that is perpetrated by men because they are men, misses important details that simultaneously perpetuates and obscures the experiences of some victims.
In England and Wales, approximately one in three victims of domestic abuse are male. An estimated 2.1% of men over the age of 16 experienced partner abuse in the year ending March 2023 (compared to 4% of women).
Women’s perpetration of intimate partner abuse is comparable to that of men’s in terms of its impact. For example, when male victims are asked about their experiences, they often describe........