How to say ‘no’ to your child – and stick to it |
“No” may be one of the hardest words for parents to say to a young child.
No, we’re not buying that. No, you can’t have my phone.
No, we’re not buying that.
No, you can’t have my phone.
Many parents dread the tears, arguments or tantrums that can follow when a toddler or preschooler is denied something they want.
But what if a being upset is not a sign something has gone wrong?
Big feelings are part of life and part of growing up. Developmental psychology and neuroscience research suggests saying “no” to children helps them experience reasonable limits and boundaries.
Experiencing a “no” is an important part of how children learn to regulate emotions, cope with frustration and build resilience.
Children begin learning how to manage their emotions from infancy. The emotional regulation skills they develop during the toddler years and beyond can have a lasting influence on how they cope with challenges, build relationships and succeed at school.
What is emotional regulation?
Emotional regulation is not the ability to avoid difficult feelings. It is the ability to experience emotions, understand them, and gradually learn how to manage them.
Children develop these skills through repeated experiences of disappointment, frustration, excitement and waiting, with the support of trusted adults.
So the challenge for parents is not to avoid no, it’s to help children learn how to navigate it.
Why children need boundaries
Research shows certain parenting approaches can help children develop the ability to manage their attention, behaviour and........