Everything I need to know I learnt from reality TV. I’m serious

March 4, 2026 — 7:00pm

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As we settle into the 26th year of the endlessly “unprecedented” 21st century, many of us feel we’re missing the mentors needed to guide us through our current perils. The guidance that we once sought from academics, philosophers, and the stray moral politician, now feels hopelessly naive. On a boiling planet ruled by crypto scammers, it’s hard to believe that “kindness is contagious” or “hard work is its own reward”.

Instead, I offer an alternative: reality TV. The advice you need isn’t coming from the heavens, it’s coming from middle-aged former soap stars who have recently thrown a glass of wine at middle-aged former child stars (my personal heaven).

Beyond gems such as Birkins should be carried open and cowboy hats should be purchased at Kemosabe in Aspen, here are some of the most valuable life lessons that reality TV has taught me.

Don’t say anything behind someone’s back you wouldn’t say to their face: On TV, this is a no-brainer – talking badly about someone in front of a camera has a way of getting back to them. But even if you’re not filming talking-head confessionals after every interaction with a friend, bad comments have a habit of resurfacing.

Reality TV stars understand that anything said behind someone’s........

© The Age