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Richard Glover: Dog walks man, now that's news

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09.08.2019

The very athletic Clancy Glover.

Dear Mum and Dad, it's your dog Clancy here, writing from my home in the city.

I have news of a business idea, which I'm now eagerly developing. It started with a casual comment made by Lady as we headed off on our morning walk.

"Just imagine," Lady said to Man, "if we didn't have Clancy. We'd hardly get any exercise. He's the one who makes us walk."

I couldn't agree more. Every morning, I'm required to virtually carry them out of the house.

"Just let me finish the newspaper," one of them will say. Or, from the other: "I haven't had my cup of tea". Or even: "It's a bit cold this morning, maybe we should just stay at home."

I leap around. I whine at the door. I point to the park with my nose. I sit on the newspaper to make it clear that Peter Hartcher has delighted us with his musings long enough.

Finally, it works. They stumble out of bed and drape themselves in various ill-fitting garments. I, meanwhile, am dressed in my own fur, offset with a green collar. We leave the house. This after forty minutes of assiduous encouragement from yours truly.

Then, once we arrive at the park, I notice a personal trainer at work. He's dressed in a black Lycra track suit. A group of........

© The Age