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A few of our favourite peeves

4 1 0
14.06.2019

OPINION: Husband-and-wife comedians and commentators Jeremy Elwood and Michele A'Court give their views.

Jeremy Elwood

Sometimes you just need to have a good old-fashioned whinge. Put aside all the big problems of the world, the ones you rail against but know you can't really fix, and pick on the small stuff. The day-to-day annoyances that you also can't fix, but at least you can vent about in the knowledge that they don't really matter.

Like those people who cut you off in traffic, and then flash their hazard lights to say sorry or thank you. As if that helps. They're always the ones who have cut in without indicating, so by showing you they actually know exactly where their indicators are located, they're just rubbing salt into the wound. How lazy do you have to be to make your car say sorry, rather than rolling your window down and giving me an actual, human wave? Also, why are you always in an Audi?

Speaking of lazy, stop abbreviating everything. If you call Taranaki "the 'Naki" or Takapuna "Taka" or Dunedin "Dunners" or a podcast a "pod", I'm just going to assume you're too thick to remember the rest of the words. Is it really that hard to complete a couple of extra syllables? No. T'isn't.

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