At this retro LA haunt, lions and tigers and cheap steaks rule |
In 1769, four months before Gaspar de Portolá arrived in San Francisco Bay, he traveled along a Tongva trail in present-day Los Angeles, stopping to camp overnight near a stream. The pristine site offered rolling hills and grassland and rustling trees, and was not far from a different, present-day watering hole: Safari Room.
The 69-year-old steakhouse and cocktail lounge is in modern-day Mission Hills, one of the 99 sprawling neighborhoods within the city of Los Angeles. The restaurant sits near the northern terminus of the famous 405 Freeway in the vast San Fernando Valley, some 25 miles north of Downtown LA. The neighborhood name comes from Mission San Fernando Rey de España, built 227 years ago — or about 30 years after Portolá camp stakes were pulled up. For most of that time, this had been pastureland, but in the early 1950s, as the suburbs looked for more acreage to sprawl, a planned subdivision was built called Dennis Park. People still talk about the chocolate pastries and birthday cakes at Dennis Park Bakery.
The neighborhood was enticing for San Fernando Valley homebuyers because it had perks like “sewers, sidewalks, paved streets, curbs and gutters,” according to a 1953 Los Angeles Times article. In 1956, the community voted to rename itself “Mission Hills” to evoke a pastoral connection to the old mission, which had been in disrepair since the mid-19th century before undergoing a massive restoration project.
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Aerial view of the Mission Hills neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley portion of Los Angeles.
Today, the area is mostly a mix of single-family homes and strip malls, including a recent addition that offers Papa Johns, Speedy Cash loan office and a Thai restaurant. Around the corner and just past the alleyway is a collectible toy store, a sporting goods outlet called Hot Corner Baseball, a lawnmower repair shop and that timeless classic: Safari Room, one of LA’s many uniquely tacky steakhouses. The drinks are stiff, the prices are low and, sometimes, the decor tips from “vintage” into “questionable.”
The 2 p.m. crowd was light at Safari Room on a recent Friday, despite the special of the day: top sirloin and shrimp for $22.95. Walking inside, you step past a mirror that lets customers take selfies against a faux ivy wall, complete with angel wings for the perfect decade-ago LA influencer shot. It’s an oddly anachronistic touch, considering the rest of the place. Across the hall hang four spears and a turtle shell shield, and in the next room, a large portrait of a Bengal tiger is overlooking his kingdom: a nook of the bar area.
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There are other old school eateries that use their chic vintage decor to make you travel back in time (for better and worse), but Safari Room has been around long enough that it isn’t really stuck in one era anymore. It has the design sensibility of an aunt with eclectic taste who always finds good deals at Marshalls — which is actually very refreshing.
As a young couple flirts at the edge of the bar, two dudes in Dodger hats watch golf on large color televisions. In the main dining room, an older couple in a rounded leather booth down a full-on steak dinner.
Glowing televisions shine on the wooden bartop.
Top Sirloin and shrimp scampi at Safari Room.
I take a seat at the center of the bar to eye the menu, with its cover photo showing two cheetahs. One is licking the side of the other’s face; the second is staring straight at me. Inside, a giraffe stands next to a prime rib and lobster dinner, and on the back, a zebra eyes an ice cream sundae.
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After a quick order (a bar cheeseburger........