The year 2026 is right around the corner and I know I am paid to rend flesh and entrails over the myriad of civilization-ending issues facing us. But, right now? I am currently concerned with what my fellow eighth-grade male chums used to snickeringly refer to as, “Your high beams are on.”

No. Not THOSE high beams. The automotive headlights. Well. The newer ones.

I admit. I’m flirting with entering The By Cracky! Generation, or, as some say South of the Border —“¡El Generación Por Cracky!” But, every time I’m motoring about at night, it’s like half the people out there are driving with their high beams on.

Dear Mr. SCV:

Are you referring to when it’s cold out and a young lady is walking down the stree … (EDITOR’S NOTE: Letter edited for content.)

Sincerely,

Jason Gibbs,

But Not THAT Jason Gibbs

Thank you, Jason. But I was referring to my ongoing experience of being caught up in my own, personal SciFi movie in which a UFO spacecraft, posing as an oncoming Audi Q5 SUV, is racing at you and their headlights turn nighttime into a solar flare. From 3 feet away. It’s blinding. Worse. I believe I should be entitled to some financial compensation from Audi and the godless Valencia yuppie no one asked to move here because their headlights are so powerful, they melted my windshield so I can broil a rib roast on it three days later.

These modern automobile cars are equipped with lumination devices scientists call, “LED.” Stands for Light Emitting Diode. Cripes they’re bright. I am sometimes........

© Santa Clarita Valley Signal