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American breakdown: Uncle Sam pays an overdue visit to the psychiatrist couch

18 2 15
30.10.2018

Hello, Doctor. I am very grateful that you agreed to see me at this late hour. I am at my wit's end with the latest turn of events and could really use some consultation. Yes, I would be happy to recline myself on your fine couch, thank you.

You would like me to tell you a little bit about myself? Well, alright. My name is Uncle Sam and I manage a political entity known as the United States of America, perhaps you've heard of it. It's a sprawling democratic franchise that is home to some 325 million restless souls, each with their own endless desires and demands. As for myself, I turned 242 years old in July, and I guess you could say I'm struggling with a mid-life crisis of sorts. Although my friends say I am sprightly for my age, ongoing events seem to have taken a toll on the body and mind. And now with this maverick Donald Trump in the White House I haven't had a moment's rest in a long time. To be honest, I barely recognize my own country anymore.

Of course there has always been some degree of bad blood between the Democrats and Republicans; that's to be expected. But these days the partisan split has become so severe that civil discourse between the two sides has nearly collapsed. Even the mundane act of eating out at a restaurant, as White House spokesperson Sarah Huckabee Sanders recently learned, is loaded with risk. To be honest, doctor, it's as if the entire country were sleepwalking towards the abyss. There is already hushed talk of civil war, which I find ironic since the so-called 'social justice warriors' have recently begun to tear down our Civil War monuments – at the very moment when we really need to remember the lessons of history!

When humor kicks in you know the political tactic has completely backfired pic.twitter.com/2seouICZdR

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