The nameless and faceless American officials who’ve apparently been running the country, since US President Joe Biden has been busy perfecting his Weekend At Bernie’s routine during his final weeks in office, told the Western press that Biden had authorized American long range missile (ATACMS) strikes into Russian territory. Go ahead, Joe, tell ‘em!

But apparently Joe didn’t want to “tell ‘em,” choosing instead to wander off into the Amazonian jungle when asked about it during a trip to Brazil. That also just happens to be where the good hallucinogenic plants are that would allow any remaining functional brain cells to forget about his pratfalling into a potential third world war.

How far inside Russia are we even talking here? Who knows. Joe’s still on safari, at least in the clinical, psychological sense. So enter “Jungle” Josep Borrell, EU diplomacy chief, who once infamously stood in front of a bunch of European diplomatic students and referred to Europe as a “garden” and the developing world as a “jungle.” It was Borrell who had to clarify for the entire world that what Joe really means is that he’s giving Ukraine the ability to strike 300km into Russia.

Guess we’re just supposed to take his word for it, then, since America doesn’t have a manager on shift?

Then........

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