Whether the breakup was your idea or theirs, walking away from someone can be deeply painful. In the immediate aftermath, you may feel a whole host of emotions, prompting you to take some time to process them. You know staying angry won’t serve you, and you work on finding forgiveness for your partner, and for yourself. You intentionally stay away from the dating pool, and you type "peace and acceptance" into your metaphorical GPS of life.
But just when you start to make some headway, you see your ex making all the changes you had hoped for during the relationship. Suddenly, the peace you'd started to feel is replaced by anger and frustration. Seriously? you think as you watch them become the person you hoped they would be.
Ending things gave you a sense of empowerment and reminded you of your inner strength. In fact, you’d even started to wonder why you hadn’t done it sooner. But seeing your ex make changes hits you hard, and you feel like you’ve made zero progress on your path to healing. It feels like the universe is playing a cruel joke, and all that confidence you gained is now replaced by nagging doubts. Was I not good enough for them to change? you wonder. Was there something wrong with me?
When they become the person you always wanted—but without you—it can feel like you were somehow lacking, like you didn’t deserve the love and effort they’re now offering someone else. Resentment and feelings of betrayal can creep in because it seems as though all the energy you poured into trying to help them grow was ignored. And if you’d been thinking that you were the best thing to ever happen to them, watching them thrive without you can feel like a........