I recently attended a Thanksgiving event that left a lasting impression. The room was filled with families—parents eager to connect, while teens were deeply absorbed in their screens. Phones, tablets, and laptops seemed to take center stage, pushing real conversations to the sidelines.
Parents tried asking their teens questions, only to be met with hurried responses, a distracted “What?”, or, worst of all, complete silence. Watching this unfold was frustrating—and, as a child psychologist, a little heartbreaking. I know how essential family connection is, especially during the holidays, but I also understand how hard it can be for today’s teens to balance their digital world with the one right in front of them.
Why Teens Struggle to Disconnect
It’s tempting to chalk this behavior up to rudeness, but the truth is far more nuanced. For teens, screens aren’t just entertainment—they’re lifelines. Teens connect with friends mostly on social media, through texts, and by playing video games with each other. Technology is the way in which they unwind, and even partly shape their sense of identity.
Research supports this. A study in JAMA Pediatrics (2019) found that teens rely heavily on technology to maintain friendships and seek social validation. It makes sense that their screens compete for their attention--every like, notification, or message triggers a dopamine rush, and this reinforces the urge to stay plugged in. For many teens, putting their phone down feels less like a small ask and more like a........