It’s not easy to admit, but my behaviour when I was in the throes of untreated depression and revved-up mania wasn’t always easy to deal with. Not a surprise. Mental illness, when left untreated, can lead to behaviours that are frustrating for loved ones and co-workers alike.

As a cashier at Safeway, for example, I’d frequently call in sick (read: too depressed to get out of bed) the day before my shift, or more likely the day of. My manager would have to scramble to find someone to cover for me. At other times, I wouldn’t call in at all because I was in a manic state, on the precipice of psychosis.

But once I became an active participant in my recovery from bipolar disorder, psychosis, and anxiety, my relationships, my work, and my life began to take on a calmer tempo. I, along with my family, friends and co-workers, felt relieved.

When Untreated Mental Illness Enters the Workplace

But what about mental illness that isn't yet being managed—in those cases, what are co-workers to do?

This situation is challenging not only for the individual with the yet-to-be diagnosed condition, but also for those around them. Frustration can build if co-workers have to pick up extra work; resentment can grow when a colleague receives accommodations that look like special treatment. It’s got all the makings of a toxic environment if things aren’t handled openly.

Identifying and working through workplace tensions can help individuals, teams, and departments to move forward and be more productive. It can create happier and safer worksites.

What Managers Can Do to Navigate an Employee's Mental Illness

If you're in a position of authority, how can you manage brewing anger and minimize damaging responses among staff when another employee is struggling or away from work? The following suggestions may help:

Be proactive. Raise issues early, before they escalate.

Role model the behaviour you wish to elicit before addressing the problem.

Don’t be a bystander to inappropriate conduct; intervene.

Create opportunities for co-workers to collaborate on solutions.

Educate broadly to avoid isolating any one person.

Remind staff that everyone is on the same team—even if it doesn’t feel that way.

The most difficult and awkward moment is often initiating the conversation. Although people may be aware of the resentment, the resentment itself has likely gone unaddressed—perhaps surfacing only in gossip or other unproductive conversations and actions.

Common situations you might face:

Issues have been addressed before, but unsuccessfully, and staff are looking for guidance and are ready to make changes.

Issues have not been acknowledged and it’s unclear whether staff are ready to shift their behaviour.

Approaching the discussion with respect, honesty, and without judgment can create an atmosphere that encourages change and empowers staff to choose constructive behaviours.

I suggest the following acronym: AEER

A: Acknowledge the situation and circumstances without judgment

“It’s been tough for the last while. I understand there’s some resentment that’s been building and some inappropriate jokes made.”

E: Empathize authentically with employees, meeting them where they are

“It makes sense you’re frustrated. This amount of workload is unsustainable. I also understand how humour can be a way to deal with stress.”

E: Educate by sharing facts and context without breaching confidentiality.

“But humour at someone’s expense isn’t constructive. The more we can be supportive, the better the return-to-work experience and the better your experience in the workplace will be too.”

R: Redirect employees to replace unhelpful reactions with positive or neutral ones.

“My invitation is to recognize and validate your resentment. It’s not uncommon to have these feelings. But I also encourage you to let go of blame. Educate yourself about mental health. See if you hold some myths about mental illness and challenge them."

"Get to know your co-worker. Be direct—speak with them about your concerns and your workplace needs constructively and compassionately. I have posted some links about mental health on our intranet. What ideas do you have to create a better situation?”

Responding to resentment in the workplace isn’t easy, but when it’s done with respect, fairness, and compassion, it can lead to a collective sigh of relief.

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