Social animals, most of us crave the companionship of other humans. Although we complain about their noisy interferences, we know that people are critical to our understanding of who we are. They provide feedback for our words and behaviors; they serve as comparisons for our successes and failures. Collectively, others establish the framework of values, norms, and skills that orient our lives. They nurture, educate, and employ us and sanction our relationships. They give us life and set us in our graves.

At times, we want to feel the rush of that broader human community. In that spirit, we head merrily to ball games and concerts, pack bars and dance clubs, and wander fairs and festivals. More commonly, we cling to the small circles of people who know us well, who we can count on when it matters. Essentially, we seek affirmation that we are the people we feel we are, or perhaps hope to be.

Of course, all this interaction can be a bit much. For every person who draws energy from being “in company,” there is another who finds it draining. Some take no pleasure in the crowds described so buoyantly above. A little time spent with relatives, or even friends, is enough.

This post is about solitude, the voluntary withdrawal into “alone” or “me” time.

Being alone as the modern predicament

As other writings on this subject stress, solitude is not to be confused with loneliness. Loneliness is typically an unwanted condition, a feeling that one is missing out on activities and relationships they should be experiencing. By contrast, the solitary person accepts their being alone and makes the best of it. Indeed, it may become their preferred style of being.

Be clear that being alone — in fact, living alone — is an increasing rather than diminishing characteristic of our jumbled modern world. According to the most recent US Census, the share of one-person households more than tripled........

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