The 6 Ways That Oversensitivity Harms Relationships |
What Is Rejection Sensitivity?
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Humans are innately oriented toward finding and keeping belonging.
Meta-analytic findings suggest rejection sensitivity is linked to poorer relationship functioning.
Rejection sensitivity is associated with lower relationship satisfaction, more conflict, and more violence.
Entrenched patterns are hard to change, but therapy can help.
It's natural to want connection. We all do! As humans, we're wired to belong, and when we feel socially disconnected, we have a complex regulatory system that kicks in to move us back to a state of connection. This system relies on a web of cognitions, emotions, and behaviors to monitor our social relationships, notice cues of rejection, and orient us back toward safe, accepting relationships.
But what happens when this regulatory system is on overdrive? How does oversensitivity to signs of disconnection affect relationships?
Rejection Sensitivity Begins With Expectations
Some people struggle with regulating connection. Scholars refer to this challenge as rejection sensitivity. People with high rejection sensitivity tend to move through life expecting others to reject them. This cognitive bias corresponds with a keen hypervigilance to potential signs of rejection and is typically followed by a disproportional behavioral reaction.
For example, someone with strong rejection sensitivity might interpret a benign response by a romantic partner ("I'm tired, so I nodded, but didn't smile") as threatening ("He didn't smile. Does he not want to be with me........