I shouldn’t be alive to write this. I should be dead four times over—that’s how many times I’ve sincerely tried to kill myself. Trust me, these weren’t mere cries for help. They were wholly deliberate, planned-out attempts that ought to have resulted in certain death.
But I’ve learned the hard way that the body clings to life, regardless of how miserable that life may feel. It seems that hope for a better tomorrow is hard-wired into our physical beings, even if it can’t be grasped by our minds at the time.
However miraculous my survival is, there is nothing so unusual about my suicidal ideation, given my bipolar diagnosis. The rate of suicide in bipolar disorder is up to 30 times higher than that of the general population. Research has found that 20 percent of bipolar individuals will end their lives this way, while up to 50 percent will........