Confusion indicates awareness and tolerance of complexity in ourselves and others.

Confusion supports integration over reductionism.

Confusion is a natural aspect of intellectual humility.

Confusion suggests personal security.

My toddler, my most respected mentors, and my therapy patients in a process of profound growth all have something in common—their ability to look at things with an open mind and a capacity to experience confusion long enough to expand and deepen their understanding of themselves and the world around them.

If asked to imagine an individual who is secure in themselves, intelligent, and even wise, “confused” may seem an odd quality to mention, let alone prioritize. Yet, the ability to be confused can be an important sign of psychological maturity.

1. Confusion indicates awareness and tolerance of complexity in ourselves and others

Confusion is a natural emotion we experience when pieces of information don’t add up. Here, “information” can be defined broadly — as in literal facts that are hard to imagine being true at the same time, but also experiences, like how we feel, what we want, and the choices we make. For instance, we might experience both wanting and resisting something or having both loving and angry feelings toward a loved one. However, we can only experience confusion if we recognize those pieces of information and attempt to hold them in awareness at the same time—a useful, if not essential, skill for navigating the numerous........

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