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How to Get Your Relationship Out of a Rut

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Even in normal times, it is easy for partners to get into a rut where their relationship is more or less on autopilot, and they fall into taking each other for granted. But during these abnormal times with many couples quarantining together 24/7, the rut can get even deeper and harder to get out of. It doesn’t help that we tend to think of love in passive terms as something we “fall in” or end up “being in.” We often overlook the fact that love is also a verb and, therefore, requires taking action. The act of loving involves real behavior to keep a relationship alive and vital. These include offering emotional and physical affection; expressing tenderness, compassion and sensitivity to one another’s needs; sharing activities and interests; and maintaining honest exchanges of personal thoughts and feelings.

The first step for getting out of this rut is to see you and your partner as two separate, independent people. To gain perspective, imagine stepping back from your partner. As you stand apart, get a feeling for yourself as a distinct person, perfectly capable of functioning on your own. The world doesn’t owe you anything; and, in spite of life’s disappointments and frustrations, you are a victim of no one. You are just you, alone. Now take a look at your partner, apart from you. Separate from anything you may........

© Psychology Today