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Couples often get into conflict about a variety of topics, stimulating potentially troubling emotions.
New research looks not just at the conflicts but memories of the conflicts as requiring emotional adaptation.
By reworking memories of your conflicts, they can become the basis for learning and growth.
Couples can argue over even the slightest difference of opinion. It can be as simple as preferring different kinds of breakfast cereals. You want the healthy organic variety, and your partner wants the sugar-coated flakes he had as a child. This trivial dispute often escalates until, in the worst-case scenario, you’re ready to break up.
How did things get so out of control? If you love someone, you should be able to handle some daily bickering. Relationship researchers often point out ways that conflicts become dysfunctional. In the newest approach, focus is placed on emotional regulation as the key to neutralizing some of these unpleasant interactions.
Self-Determination Turns Its Attention to Conflict in Relationships
In a new approach to understanding relationship difficulties, University of Quebec’s Aurélie Thuot-Jolicoeur and colleagues (2026) posed a conflict-ridden scenario at the outset of their paper. A couple argues over how to spend some of their time while on a Parisian vacation. But instead of luxuriating in the lovely scenery and enjoying all that Paris has to offer, they began to quibble over whether to see a museum on one of their precious days in the French capital. One partner excitedly suggested this activity, but the other shot her down, claiming to be too tired.........