All marriages start out like a business deal. Romantics hate to hear this, but it is a fact. When a couple decides to marry, there are legally binding papers to sign, and the officiator of the union introduces the potential partners to a quid pro quo. “Danielle, do you take Peter to be your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer…” The officiator then asks the same question of Peter. There is no escaping it, it resembles a business transaction.
I have attended lots of weddings in my time, and I have never heard a Priest, Rabbi, or Minister add, “unless, of course, either of you cheats, quits your job, or gains hundreds of pounds—in that case the deal is off.” No, those words are never uttered. But many of these things are implicit, and if one or both partners wish to get out of the deal prematurely, terminating the transaction can be very expensive.
Nonetheless, the concept of transaction exists on a continuum from your basic wedding vows to a transactional marriage devoid of love, passion, intimacy, and commitment—the type I am interested in discussing. Such a transactional marriage........