People often feel embarrassed when they struggle to go no contact with a toxic or narcissistic person. Friends may say, “Just block them,” or “Why don’t you walk away already?” To others, going no contact with a toxic person looks simple. But for you, it can feel unbearable.

If you’ve ever thought, “Why is going no contact so hard when the relationship was so toxic?” you’re not alone. It turns out your brain is doing exactly what it is wired to do.

In healthy relationships, people tend to feel safe and respected. You may argue, but you don’t fight. A level of respect and care is maintained, and the past is not brought up as a weapon. Over time, your nervous system learns that this person is reliable.

In unhealthy relationships, especially those involving emotional abuse, attachment works differently. Instead of safety, the bond forms around chaos and survival. This process is known as a

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